It’s Summer and time to bring out your itsy, bitsy bikinis.I have a body issue just like every girl does. I’m never satisfied in the way I look – too chubby, flabby, jiggly fat and fleshy. I’m always unhappy and trust me, I came up with every possible body loathing you can conjure.
It’s hard being a bigger than average girl in Singapore, there’s almost no diversity in sizes and clothing available. Most girls here are size 6 or 8 and when you see the clothes sold online, it’s almost always for teeny, weeny girls. I’ve both boobs and butt and I find it difficult to fit into most clothes for Asian cut. Either the top is bursting or I can pull up the skirt past my hips.
With age, it gets unbearable. Trust me. I look at pictures of my lithe, lean old self and I wonder, “When did I put on all these weight?” or “When did I start becoming so… _____(insert nasty word of choice!)”. Is this a lack of self-esteem or a refusal to accept that I am no longer supple and that losing weight is not as easy as it was five years ago?
By all account, I don’t think I am ‘fat’. But being in a country where the girls are skinny and crazy about dieting, it’s hard not to be moved and pressurized into thinking that I am. Similarly, guys/boys/men often make innocuous remarks that taunt. A few male friends of mine called a girl “meaty”. A girl, who by all account I think is of normal size,…I found it disconcerting. Am I also “meaty”? Oh, it didn’t help when the ex-girlfriend of my previous boyfriend called me “fat and ugly” before. Is it just low self-esteem on my part or do you girls feel the same too?
I refuse to partake in the dieting craze, be it not eating, eating too little or taking diet pills. It’s unhealthy and damaging and I owe it to myself to treat my body well. (A little too well, perhaps?) The only way I will allow myself to lose weight is through exercising. I love running and I think it’s time I pull out my gears!Exercising releases endorphins too!
So, let’s all learn to love our bodies and accept how we look. Stop hating yourself because no one is perfect. You don’t have to conform to others’ perception of beauty. The most beautiful women are usually the ones with confidence; they glow from inside.
How about you, girls? Any body issues that you will like to share? Am I alone in feeling ‘fat’? Write to me! 🙂
wonderwool 
I totally agree with you. I can’t fit into most Asian sizes too, especially I’m pear-shaped. I usually go for Western brands, but I’ll have to chop inches off my jeans. When it comes to tops, I’ll have to make sure the bust area isn’t too loose.
I’m not complaining though. I love my body 😉
Hey Aggie! Glad to hear from a girl with healthy confidence! 🙂
Agreed with your comments =) Although, ironically, from your posted pictures, you do looked like an ‘average’ Singaporean girl to me =P
Take heart that you are not the only one that struggles with her body. For me, it’s more of getting older = apple shape , and the tummy is getting fatter from all the eating & sitting !
Buying clothes here can be a frustrating affair, especially when I found a piece of clothing that I like, only to find that either the available size is S &/ L , or the fit is way, way off (wrong body shape). No matter if it is Asian or Western clothing.
I love my body in all imperfect glory : acne, cellulite, boobs and big bum, and even bigger tummy ! (although I’m uncomfortable with the ‘staring’ from lecherous guys – young and old ).
Oh, and those nasty comments about your body shape, turn the tables on them ! Guys face the same body & image issues as us, so if the ‘pot is calling the kettle black’, just point out the hypocrisy 😉 As for girls who bitch about the other girl’s face/body, it’s just a poor way to reassure themselves that they are ‘prettier’ and still desirable.
yup, the most beautiful women/girl is the one with most confidence inside !
Jenny: i’m definitely not the average, I’m bigger than average or most. it’s nice to listen to someone like you – proud of what you have, imperfections and al! It’s very empowering and I’ll remember this whenever I’m feeling down. 🙂
Totally agree with you !
AC: yay!!!